Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
