what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
