dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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