You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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