Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
