Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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