Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
