thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's official drugs can't kill me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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