I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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