She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
