I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
