he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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