Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
