She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
