We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am mentally ready for anal.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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