Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
