I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize