Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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