don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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