I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A bitchslap is in order.
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