...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
