You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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