idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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