I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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