if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize