I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
