We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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