Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
