I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
