dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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