i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
