Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
