all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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