Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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