i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
