I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize