did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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