just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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