Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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