You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize