i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
