You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
