remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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