Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
