So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
