tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
