lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
