PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
