my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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