In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
