My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
