Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
