after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
