You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
