I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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