I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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