Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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