And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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