I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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