this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need mimosas to revive my soul
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
