I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
