I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
