Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
