What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
